Since I'm on state Medicare, and recently received a notice with the new slogan of 'Serious Health Care Close to Home', implying anything not serious is best left to other devices, I vote for the following ad campaigns:
"BADGERCARE: BROKEN BONES AND BULLET HOLES!"
(A billboard with a female crackhead holding a screaming preemie wearing nothing but a diaper) "Your baby won't stop crying? Deal with it yourself, you stupid bitch!"
"DON'T COME IN UNTIL YOU'VE EXHAUSTED YOUR SUPPLY OF PRESCRIPTION DRUGS ALL MIXED TOGETHER IN A BAGGIE LIKE FRUITY PEBBLES".
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Let's talk about shootouts.
Now that I've given up on the whole 'decent person thing',. let's discuss shootouts.
How do you survive a shootout? Well. Find cover and don't pretend. and most importantly, practice, practice, practice. Practice entering buildings. Practice walking down the god damn street. Practice what you are going to say to the darker gentleman who say, "I buy you a watch!"
(To which my response now will be, "I'm a gradeschool teacher, and you should say, I'm sorry, what's you're name, Kenai, you should say, "I will sell you a watch!" Say it with me."
It's really hard to survive a shootout and have any clue what happened. You won't remember. The place your body will take you is so rarified you will have no real recollection of anything other than your own memories, which believe me, are unreliable.
My memory is trashed. I have fragments of fragments of pieces of happenstances. Why do I think about the Balkans all the time? Well, the 'real' military, you know, that pussy kind that sends everyone back to their home when their hitch is done, is a waste of mother fucking time. I ran into military, briefly, in places I went, and no respect for them at all. They were clock-punchers. You know what? FUCK YOU. Blow me. Suck me. And most of them were Republicans.
But they weren't nearly as bad as the 'thinkers'.
Maybe what you need to survive violence is violence yourself.
I'm not sure.
How do you survive a shootout? Well. Find cover and don't pretend. and most importantly, practice, practice, practice. Practice entering buildings. Practice walking down the god damn street. Practice what you are going to say to the darker gentleman who say, "I buy you a watch!"
(To which my response now will be, "I'm a gradeschool teacher, and you should say, I'm sorry, what's you're name, Kenai, you should say, "I will sell you a watch!" Say it with me."
It's really hard to survive a shootout and have any clue what happened. You won't remember. The place your body will take you is so rarified you will have no real recollection of anything other than your own memories, which believe me, are unreliable.
My memory is trashed. I have fragments of fragments of pieces of happenstances. Why do I think about the Balkans all the time? Well, the 'real' military, you know, that pussy kind that sends everyone back to their home when their hitch is done, is a waste of mother fucking time. I ran into military, briefly, in places I went, and no respect for them at all. They were clock-punchers. You know what? FUCK YOU. Blow me. Suck me. And most of them were Republicans.
But they weren't nearly as bad as the 'thinkers'.
Maybe what you need to survive violence is violence yourself.
I'm not sure.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Not well suited.
Well, interestingly, since I've had experience (under whacked-out circumstances) of FORCING people into doing things they think they don't want to do... enter the US Marine thing... I pride myself in doing things I just don't want to do. I do things I don't want to do all the time. It's called DISCIPLINE.
I figure, especially, that if no-one wants to do it, it's not because they are intelligent (as humans, like all mammals, seek the path of least resistance, i. e. laziness), but they are preserving themselves. And their ilk, or progeny, or whatever. But pure stupidity? NOT WORTH PRESERVING.
Well, what's going on right now is the economy is forcing dumbfucks* into substitute teaching. When they thought they'd have a cushy job with leverage and all that, and have certification, and licensure, which I don't have, and here they are begging me for advice. Guess what: FUCK YOU and the FAT FUCK you FUCKED to get married to get this job. This is now being exacerbated by the fact that any truly qualified teacher is bailing, big-time, for less fucked-up pastures.
So I, Me, has/have the weird circumstance of talking to dumb motherfuckers who thought they'd have a cushy Union job, only to discover they'd have to, oh, TEACH INNER-CITY PEOPLE. And be accountable for same.
So instead of being the warzone pariah I spent my formative years being, suddenly I'm 'in the loop', and I am pissed off, bigtime, at any White lame-O fuckhead thinking they're going to use my skills to finance their stupid, knick-knack-buying lifestyle.
Hey y'all, FUCK Y'all.
*I am offically declaring anything I write online as offlimits to anything or anyone where I work with the word FUCK. Fuck You. If some fuckhead found this through a website, you did not find it through a school portal. Eat my cock, bitch.
I figure, especially, that if no-one wants to do it, it's not because they are intelligent (as humans, like all mammals, seek the path of least resistance, i. e. laziness), but they are preserving themselves. And their ilk, or progeny, or whatever. But pure stupidity? NOT WORTH PRESERVING.
Well, what's going on right now is the economy is forcing dumbfucks* into substitute teaching. When they thought they'd have a cushy job with leverage and all that, and have certification, and licensure, which I don't have, and here they are begging me for advice. Guess what: FUCK YOU and the FAT FUCK you FUCKED to get married to get this job. This is now being exacerbated by the fact that any truly qualified teacher is bailing, big-time, for less fucked-up pastures.
So I, Me, has/have the weird circumstance of talking to dumb motherfuckers who thought they'd have a cushy Union job, only to discover they'd have to, oh, TEACH INNER-CITY PEOPLE. And be accountable for same.
So instead of being the warzone pariah I spent my formative years being, suddenly I'm 'in the loop', and I am pissed off, bigtime, at any White lame-O fuckhead thinking they're going to use my skills to finance their stupid, knick-knack-buying lifestyle.
Hey y'all, FUCK Y'all.
*I am offically declaring anything I write online as offlimits to anything or anyone where I work with the word FUCK. Fuck You. If some fuckhead found this through a website, you did not find it through a school portal. Eat my cock, bitch.
Writer's Group
I wrote a thinly disguised narrative about my experiences in XPlace for writer's group, encouraged by our members, and they took it as a dark, Grimm-Bros. folktale. Right up until I explained the reality of it in blunt, street terms.
I'll be reading this in an upcoming show. I might post it, I don't know.
I'll be reading this in an upcoming show. I might post it, I don't know.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Snitch Culture and People
So I've been reading about the 4 (actually 5) killings in Oakland. Wow. It seems the community there has a major problem with their police department, feeling they're abusive, racist, and dangerous. I'm sure the police feel the same way about the population they're supposed to be 'serving and protecting'.
I've lived in places ill-served by police, and generally the cops weren't necessarily all that bad, mostly just incompetent and uncaring. It used to drive me insane to call the police and have an officer come out, make biased statements about the neighborhood I lived in, and then point-blank refuse to pursue information I'd give them. I had cops tell me things like, "What do you want? You live here", and "I'm not doing anything about your complaint". It led to my simply losing sight of the fact that police existed at all, and for years after moving to more civilized places I had a terrible time getting used to the idea you could call the police and they'd actually do something! Wild! Far out! Imagine!
Anyway, people who live in bad neighborhoods (note I did not say poor neighborhoods, I said bad neighborhoods) tend to have their own culture and morals that don't match very well with general ideas of a more civilized society. Where I live now I meet people who I swear don't know street drugs are illegal. They act like they aren't, or as if they shouldn't be, therefore when they're 'hassled by the cops' they're outraged.
I meet a lot of young people who have been born into criminality and have no idea what a straight life is. They have no concepts of cooperation, no social mores, no idea of any greater societal obligations than a clannish dedication to their immediate circle of relatives and homies. In the case in Oakland, it surprises me not at all that neighbors and relatives knew the shooter was hiding in that apartment and chose to say nothing.
Where I live now the police largely can't get convictions for killings, some of which are now 5 or more years back, because people who have personal knowledge of the killer's role won't say anything. Usually, the police here wait for the people known to have killed others to make other moves, then convict them for those things, calling it 'close enough'. Why? No-one will talk about crime in their community. Why not? Well, mostly it implicates all their friends and relatives, and if people started actually reporting all the crime, there'd be nobody left.
Everyone's culpable, from the elderly grandparents taking money from their grandkids to store 'packages', to the little kids trained to report police presence on the street. It's multi-generational, family-based crime. Everyone is involved. Everyone.
My biggest problem with what I do for a living is unbelievably horrible behavior. Unfathomable rottenness. And honestly, I cannot for the life of me truly understand it. How do these people get this way? And the answer is, multiple generations of badness. The kids are bad because the parents are bad, and the parents are bad because their parents were bad. Generation after generation of rotten choices, bad behavior, and slack ignorance. Generations of teenaged, unattached mothers. Generations of absent, dimwitted 'fathers'. Generations of brain-dead parents who spend all their time swapping partners so the kids never have anything resembling an authority figure, ever, and don't know what family stability is.
I realized how deep the practice was when I listened to a pregnant 15-year-old girl discuss her upcoming birth, and without an iota of shame or irony described her plans. She was going to live with her mother, who would supply free child care, go to school until she could drop out, and then study at home for her GED, because she didn't like the way teachers 'be all up on her'. After this she wanted to, and I'm not making this up, become an RN because 'they make a lot of money'. When another girl asked her about the father, she announced, and again without malice or any discernable sense of emotion, that she didn't care for the guy, and had never liked him, but had had sex with him out of boredom. As far as the biological father's role in any of this, she stated she'd just sue him for child support and use it as her income while staying at her mom's for free, so she could shop and 'party'. When asked what she would do if he didn't pay her, she said, "He better pay me, or the state be puttin' him in jail". This plan was matter-of-factly laid out as if it were a trip to the mall. In none of this display was there any indication of any sense of responsibility, maturity, or dedication. This young woman simply did whatever she felt like, without any concept of consequences, and anything bad happening to her had nothing at all to do with any action of her own. Not only did she not have any idea that what she herself was doing might not be the world's best plan, she seemed to have little or no sense of herself as a person. She was impulsive, aimless, and ultimately passive, treating the world as some sort of smorgasbord of small paths, which she might or might not take depending on how she felt at the time.
And they are all over the place, these people. You can bet this girl's mother had the same kind of life. And we're going to have these folks be responsible citizens.
I've lived in places ill-served by police, and generally the cops weren't necessarily all that bad, mostly just incompetent and uncaring. It used to drive me insane to call the police and have an officer come out, make biased statements about the neighborhood I lived in, and then point-blank refuse to pursue information I'd give them. I had cops tell me things like, "What do you want? You live here", and "I'm not doing anything about your complaint". It led to my simply losing sight of the fact that police existed at all, and for years after moving to more civilized places I had a terrible time getting used to the idea you could call the police and they'd actually do something! Wild! Far out! Imagine!
Anyway, people who live in bad neighborhoods (note I did not say poor neighborhoods, I said bad neighborhoods) tend to have their own culture and morals that don't match very well with general ideas of a more civilized society. Where I live now I meet people who I swear don't know street drugs are illegal. They act like they aren't, or as if they shouldn't be, therefore when they're 'hassled by the cops' they're outraged.
I meet a lot of young people who have been born into criminality and have no idea what a straight life is. They have no concepts of cooperation, no social mores, no idea of any greater societal obligations than a clannish dedication to their immediate circle of relatives and homies. In the case in Oakland, it surprises me not at all that neighbors and relatives knew the shooter was hiding in that apartment and chose to say nothing.
Where I live now the police largely can't get convictions for killings, some of which are now 5 or more years back, because people who have personal knowledge of the killer's role won't say anything. Usually, the police here wait for the people known to have killed others to make other moves, then convict them for those things, calling it 'close enough'. Why? No-one will talk about crime in their community. Why not? Well, mostly it implicates all their friends and relatives, and if people started actually reporting all the crime, there'd be nobody left.
Everyone's culpable, from the elderly grandparents taking money from their grandkids to store 'packages', to the little kids trained to report police presence on the street. It's multi-generational, family-based crime. Everyone is involved. Everyone.
My biggest problem with what I do for a living is unbelievably horrible behavior. Unfathomable rottenness. And honestly, I cannot for the life of me truly understand it. How do these people get this way? And the answer is, multiple generations of badness. The kids are bad because the parents are bad, and the parents are bad because their parents were bad. Generation after generation of rotten choices, bad behavior, and slack ignorance. Generations of teenaged, unattached mothers. Generations of absent, dimwitted 'fathers'. Generations of brain-dead parents who spend all their time swapping partners so the kids never have anything resembling an authority figure, ever, and don't know what family stability is.
I realized how deep the practice was when I listened to a pregnant 15-year-old girl discuss her upcoming birth, and without an iota of shame or irony described her plans. She was going to live with her mother, who would supply free child care, go to school until she could drop out, and then study at home for her GED, because she didn't like the way teachers 'be all up on her'. After this she wanted to, and I'm not making this up, become an RN because 'they make a lot of money'. When another girl asked her about the father, she announced, and again without malice or any discernable sense of emotion, that she didn't care for the guy, and had never liked him, but had had sex with him out of boredom. As far as the biological father's role in any of this, she stated she'd just sue him for child support and use it as her income while staying at her mom's for free, so she could shop and 'party'. When asked what she would do if he didn't pay her, she said, "He better pay me, or the state be puttin' him in jail". This plan was matter-of-factly laid out as if it were a trip to the mall. In none of this display was there any indication of any sense of responsibility, maturity, or dedication. This young woman simply did whatever she felt like, without any concept of consequences, and anything bad happening to her had nothing at all to do with any action of her own. Not only did she not have any idea that what she herself was doing might not be the world's best plan, she seemed to have little or no sense of herself as a person. She was impulsive, aimless, and ultimately passive, treating the world as some sort of smorgasbord of small paths, which she might or might not take depending on how she felt at the time.
And they are all over the place, these people. You can bet this girl's mother had the same kind of life. And we're going to have these folks be responsible citizens.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Frightening.
I wrote a piece for Writer's Group this morning about spiritual connections. and all day it's been coming back on me.
I watched my NetFlix choice, Melville's 'Second Breath, a 'heist film' that transcends heist films films and had me grabbing for my gun. Melville knows how people kill each other with firearms, and it is the scariest movie I've seen since TO HELL AND BACK.
The really weird part is this: I went writing at the coffee shop this morning about living in the spiritually different world of the Central American immigrants I got exposed to while I met Ray Bradbury, and came home to read the news discovering the Oakland cop killings with two (TWO!) motorcycle cops shot through their helmets, echoing the police killings in Melville's movie in which two French motorcycle cops are shot in their helmets. In one brief shot (film) blood is seen coming out of one cop's helmet. Reading the report of a barbershop employee he ran up to one cop and stated, "I saw blood coming out of his helmet".
I NEVER watch movies like this, for good reason, and I'm baffled as to how I was watching a movie about two motorcycle cops getting shot in their helmets at the same time two Oakland cops were getting smoked on the street.
I'm kind of freaked out. I'm having a convergence, and this is not the only convergence. It's been going on all day. I think I need to either go back to the Balkans or just... I don't know what. I ned to get back there right now, for some reason. I have to. There is something really wrong.
It's too much.
I watched my NetFlix choice, Melville's 'Second Breath, a 'heist film' that transcends heist films films and had me grabbing for my gun. Melville knows how people kill each other with firearms, and it is the scariest movie I've seen since TO HELL AND BACK.
The really weird part is this: I went writing at the coffee shop this morning about living in the spiritually different world of the Central American immigrants I got exposed to while I met Ray Bradbury, and came home to read the news discovering the Oakland cop killings with two (TWO!) motorcycle cops shot through their helmets, echoing the police killings in Melville's movie in which two French motorcycle cops are shot in their helmets. In one brief shot (film) blood is seen coming out of one cop's helmet. Reading the report of a barbershop employee he ran up to one cop and stated, "I saw blood coming out of his helmet".
I NEVER watch movies like this, for good reason, and I'm baffled as to how I was watching a movie about two motorcycle cops getting shot in their helmets at the same time two Oakland cops were getting smoked on the street.
I'm kind of freaked out. I'm having a convergence, and this is not the only convergence. It's been going on all day. I think I need to either go back to the Balkans or just... I don't know what. I ned to get back there right now, for some reason. I have to. There is something really wrong.
It's too much.
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